I know it sounds a bit ridiculous, a grown man having difficulty folding his own clothes, but until two weeks ago I was one of those men. My life didn’t depend on my clothes being folded or not, I guess it wasn’t important to me. However, as you will find out, it is important to my wife.
Okay, so this won’t be about how you can get your husband to fold his clothes, because sadly, he will only change if he wants to. Maybe send this blog onto him.
Here’s the story and how it relates to weight loss
I have a massive armoire in my bedroom. One side is mine. My wife is really good to me; she folds my clothes and puts them in my side of the armoire. That’s not the problem. The problem is; I can’t keep them folded. Over the course of the week I will slowly stuff my clothes in the armoire until there is absolutely no resemblance of order.
She can be standing with a nice folded pair of jeans and wonder if she should put them on top of my self-created mountain of clothes or throw them in like I do.
Two weeks ago she looked at me, looked at my pile of stuffed clothes, then looked back at me and said “Wow, that’s a pigsty, do you want me to clean it for you?” I told her “Here’s the issue; I have too much respect for you and if you decide to clean it I’m going to have to keep it that way; I don’t know if I’m ready for that”
The next day I thought that I was being a bit cowardly, so I decided today is the day. I sheepishly approached her and said “Okay, you can clean it, but I want to say one more thing, I have too much respect for you, so if you clean it I will keep it clean”
The pile of clothes, motivation, and weight loss
I know where I could have failed. I could have told my wife that I would keep it clean, or set a goal for myself that I would keep my clothes folded for three weeks..that’s how long it takes to create a habit right?
I decided to have a higher sense of motivation. Something that is intrinsic to me, something that would work for me for the long term. See, my wife is meant to protect my security, if I failed at folding my clothes she really wouldn’t be terribly hurt, she would probably sigh and think to herself…”Typical” But I didn’t want that to happen, I actually wanted to get myself to keep it clean.
My higher sense of motivation was tied to something greater than folded clothes, something that is part of me, I respect my wife, I have no reason not to. I also married a woman who I know will give me no reason not to lose that respect.
So I tied my goal to that…I linked folded clothes with respect for my wife. Now when I see my clothes I see respect for my wife not a duty or a chore.
Weight loss and folded clothes
My folded clothes journey can’t be about the end product; folded clothes. It has to be about something greater. I will continue to fold my clothes for the rest of my life (okay I hope she didn’t read that). The folded clothes is much like weight loss. I want all my clients to eat healthy, exercise, and get fit forever. If it’s about the scale you may not be able to do it for a lifetime. If I exercise and eat well because of its impact on my kids, I might just do it forever.
When you set a goal of weight loss, and you want it to do it the healthy way, what will motivate you? What could you tie your goal to? Something that is already within you. When you find that motivator, you won’t have to work so hard at it.
I don’t need willpower to respect my wife. It runs on automatic. I needed willpower to fold my clothes until I linked it to something already intrinsic. It’s the same reason why I’m not late for meetings, or why I always show up to work on time, or why I exercise. I may not want to show up to work sometimes but I always do, there are too many powerful motivators that help me do that.
What motivator would help you lose weight? Maybe its teaching your kids how to eat healthy, or maybe you told someone you were going to get healthy, now you have to protect being a person of your word?
If you have any ideas you want to spread, comment and let us know what intrinsic motivator you have tied your weight loss to!